Since I left the organization and was finally able to clarify my fantasy about humans living in peace and harmony on this planet. I've done alot of thinking about humanity and it would be nice if kindness and goodness was the order of the day but sadly it is not. The planet is full of all kinds of humans with their own capabilities and agendas.
I used to believe or at least I tried to believe that there was a loving god who had our best interests at heart and we could trust him and paradise was coming. I was in my own dreamworld but now I see the bible as a book about a monster who threatens us with destruction and tells us we deserve it. The world is crazy and maybe being kind works sometimes but not always. Sometimes it's like feeding cookies to a large bear when you run out your in trouble. I'm disappointed for sure but it is what it is. You have to find something interesting to do with your life while avoiding dangerous pitfalls until you run out of time which we all will despite having once thought we could live forever or maybe not even die. That was kind of fun for a while but it wasn't true.